Everybody knows we love Lent here at Lent Madness headquarters. What’s not to love about a season specifically set aside to grow your faith and get closer to Jesus? This year, however, the Lenten love feels a bit more…passionate. We’re not sure exactly why, but it may have to do with Ash Wednesday falling on Valentine’s Day.
This calendar mashup (first time since 1945) has us thinking about ways to share the Lenten love on February 14. Here are some suggestions:
1. Give your beloved some fancy chocolates that will be stale by the time they can finally be consumed after 40 days and 40 nights (you did give up chocolate for Lent this year, right?).
2. Put on sexy sack cloth — you just never know when the mood will be right for some penitential action.
3. Use ashes for mascara before heading out for that romantic dinner.
4. Write cards with cute messages like “Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m a worm and no man, and you are too” and “Be my Valentine but first, let’s say The Great Litany together.”
5. When you receive a dozen long-stemmed roses from your beau, immediately stomp on them and scream, “No flowers during Lent!”
6. When kneeling to receive ashes on your forehead, ask the priest to draw a heart instead of a cross [Editor’s Note: If the priest actually complies, never darken the doors again]
7. Rather than enjoying a bottle of fine wine with your Valentine, suggest heading over to church to share a common cup of communion wine.
8. Speaking of which, lipstick on your collar? How about lipstick on the chalice.
9. Looking for some mood music? We suggest dimming the lights and queuing up a little “40 Days and 40 Nights.”
10. If you’re in the market for that perfect piece of jewelry, don’t forget: “Every Kiss begins with Krucifix.”
However you decide to spend February 14, please do visit your local church. Ash Wednesday helps to put our entire lives, not to mention the season of Lent, into context. And that, friends, is a good and joyful thing.
This may be the funniest thing I have read in days. Whoever wrote this, you are good! Thank you!
Please tell me where I can get candy hearts with these words on them? Would love to have a bowlful of them on the coffee table.
Photoshop. 😉
What a HUGE disappointment. I was hoping some enterprising person had really made such candies. I would have laughed so hard when friends read and reacted.
Photoshop indeed… harrumph…
Don’t forget my personal aim – wear only shades of purple nail polish throughout Lent.
Fabulous idea!
You could coordinate your look by doing the same for your lipstick….
I don’t care for purple lipstick but I do have lots of scarves with purple in them!
I’m sorely tempted to poach the candy picture. Should I give credit or just inflict self punishing penance?
Those of us of advanced years can’t afford to use the Lenten period for ‘sexy’ sack cloth and giving up chocolate, wine etc- we haven’t that much time left and earthly pleasures can’t be postponed! Surely the Lord agrees that our Lenten sacrifices may not be of the flesh but more of offerings of community, spiritual gatherings, food – every kiss begins with Krucifix just doesn’t work, sorry!!
Love Thank you for my laugh of the day!
At our tiny and terrific Parish of St. Thomas, Croom, Maryland we are serving a perfect mashup with an evensong service of Lovesong!
I run a thrift shop and one year a sari of purple camouflage pants came in. A customer suggested I wear them to Ash Wednesday service. I did and she made a generous donation to the thrift shop.
Go Dorrie!
#8 yes, penance should be served for that. The Altar Guild will be glad to help there.
Here’s a potential duet for choir and /or Organ: “Heart and Soul, I Fell in Love with You…”
Perhaps many a reader learned their piano with this melody. I played it with my sisters
I found out about this today at my church. What a wonderful idea.
Please add me
A lenten-acceptable valentine’s present? We just have to ask ourselves, What would St. Valentine do? near as I can tell from history, you should either heal the focus of your affections in some way, or attempt to evangelize them and proceed to die a martyr’s death for doing so. 🙂
It offers the perfect opportunity to repent poor relationship choices.
Pour quoi Supreser?
#6
[three laughing while crying emoji, middle with head tilted]